BEANS AND BACON
To feed four, but it can easily expand and is a good dish for many hearty eaters on a cold day, so go as big as your pot allows you (on a cold day).
white haricot beans 1kg, soaked overnight
pig's trotter 1 (2l chicken stock will be splendid if no trotter is available)
carrots 2, peeled
onions 2, peeled
celery 2 sticks
garlic 3 heads
thyme, rosemary and parsley a bundle
good green streaky bacon 1kg piece, with skin on
duck fat or extra virgin olive oil
onions 3, peeled and chopped
leeks 2, peeled and chopped
plum tomatoes 1 tin
sea salt and black pepper
DIRECTIONS
Put the beans into a pan with clean water, bring to the boil, skim and reduce to a simmer until thoroughly giving. This will take approximately 1½ hours. As soon as they meet the salty bacon they will stop getting any softer, in fact they seem to firm up (many recipes suggest soaking and blanching for 10 minutes is enough, but in my experience, once they meet salt – however long you cook them for – they never give in). Once cooked, remove from the heat, but keep them in their liquor.
Separately cover your trotter with water, add the carrots, whole onions, celery, heads of garlic and the herbs, and bring to the boil. Skim, reduce to a simmer, and cook for 2½ hours.
While all this is happening, remove the skin from the piece of bacon, if possible in one piece, and slice the bacon into 8mm-thick slices.
Get a deep pan hot and add a healthy dollop of duck fat (or oil). Firstly fry the piece of bacon skin, fat down, so it releases some of its fat into the pan, and remove; then colour your bacon slices and remove; then fry your chopped onions and leeks until softened, and add the tin of tomatoes, crushing the tomatoes in your hands as you do so. Let this cook down for 20 minutes to sweeten the tomatoes, stirring to remove all the good bits of bacon that might adhere to the pan. Season, remembering the bacon is salty, add two ladles of the trotter stock, and let cook for another 10 minutes. Drain the beans but keep their liquor, add to the pan, and mix with the tomato base.
WHITE CABBAGE AND BROWN SHRIMP
This is a wonderful salad. It is as simple as mixing all the ingredients together so you end up with the little brown shrimps caught in a weave of cabbage.
The salty sweetness of the shrimp makes a happy companion to the mysterious warmth of the raw cabbage.
TO SERVE 6
standard white cabbage, half, very thinly sliced – you will be surprised by how much you have once the cabbage is chopped
peeled brown shrimps (Morecambe Bay), 2 handfuls
chervil 2 bunches, one chopped finely (for flavour) and the other picked (for the salad's glamour)
For the dressing
lemon juice of 1
extra virgin olive oil
sea salt and black pepper
BOILED HAM AND PARSLEY SAUCE
Incredibly simple, but delicious and particularly beautiful on the plate. I believe it is important to have the parsley sauce in a jug on the table so the eaters can express themselves with their pouring. When buying your ham, avoid pink things in hair nets, look for organic and free range if possible. It is always good to cook a bit more than you will eat so you can have cold ham.
TO SERVE 4
good rolled green collar ham 2kg piece
celery 2 sticks
onions 2, peeled and stuck with 8 cloves
leeks 2, cleaned
bay leaves 3
black peppercorns 10
good-sized carrots 10, peeled but left whole; this way they stay sweeter
For the parsley sauce
butter 100g
plain white flour 100g
milk 600ml
sea salt and black pepper
curly parsley a big bunch, finely chopped
DIRECTIONS
Place your ham in a pot, keeping in mind you will need room for your carrots. Cover with water, add the celery, onions, leeks, bay leaves and peppercorns. Bring gently to the boil, skim, reduce to a simmer for 2½ hours. Add your carrots.
Now make your sauce. Melt the butter in a pan, add the flour and stir on a gentle heat – do not let it colour, it's ready for the milk when it smells biscuity. Add the milk, whisking ferociously, making sure the heat's not too fierce. When you have a firm white creamy mixture, add a ladle of ham stock, and whisk again. Do this until you have reached your desired consistency. Test for seasoning. Just before serving add the chopped parsley and stir.
When the carrots are cooked you are ready to serve (if the ham is cooked and the carrots not, remove the ham from the water and turn up the heat). Slice the ham and serve on a plate with carrots and a drizzle of ham stock from the pot. Mustard is vital on the table.
You will be left with delicious ham stock for another day, and cold ham for your sandwiches.
DEVILLED KIDNEYS
The perfect breakfast on your birthday, with a glass of Black Velvet.
TO SERVE 2
lambs' kidneys 6, suet and membrane removed, and slit in half lengthwise, retaining the kidney shape
plain flour 3 tbsp
cayenne pepper 1 tsp
dry English mustard 1 tsp
sea salt and black pepper
butter a big knob
Worcestershire sauce
chicken stock a healthy splash
toast 2 pieces (white or brown, up to you, though – just an observation – white seems to sup up the juices better
DIRECTIONS
Nip out the white fatty gristle of the kidneys with a knife or scissors. Mix together the flour, cayenne pepper, mustard, and salt and pepper in a bowl.
Get a frying pan very hot, throw in a knob of butter, and as this melts roll your kidneys in your spiced flour, then shake them in a sieve to remove excess. Place them in the sizzling pan, cook for 2 minutes each side, add a hearty splash of Worcestershire sauce and the chicken stock, and let all the ingredients get to know each other. Remove the kidneys to your two waiting bits of toast, let the sauce reduce and emulsify in the pan (do not let it disappear) and pour over the kidneys and toast. Eat – happy birthday!
MINCE AND TATTIES
A dish discussed as much as cassoulet is in Castelnaudary. Questions such as should you add peas or carrots can start a gastronomic row of great proportions. Sticking my neck out, I know Caledonian MacBrayne adds peas to its mince but I don't, although I do like a spot of carrot in mine.
It gets worse – I can't help making a small gesture to the Auld Alliance as well. Here are my mince thoughts.
TO SERVE 6
onion 1, peeled and thinly sliced
leek 1, cleaned, sliced lengthways in half, then thinly sliced across
carrot 1, peeled, sliced lengthways in half, then thinly sliced across
garlic 4 cloves, peeled and chopped
extra virgin olive oil a splash
minced beef 1kg
tomatoes 2 tins
oatmeal a handful
Worcestershire sauce 1 shot glass
red wine ⅓ bottle, my gesture to the Auld Alliance
chicken stock if needed
sea salt and black pepper
proper boiling potatoes a dozen
DIRECTIONS
In a large pan, sweat the onion, leek, carrot and garlic in the splash of olive oil until softened. Add the mince, giving it a healthy stir to break it up. Add the tinned tomatoes, crushed in your hand – a subliminal gesture. Keep stirring and add the oatmeal, not so much that you end up with a porridge. Stir, add the Worcestershire sauce and red wine, then stir again. Take a view on the liquid content; if it seems a wee bit dry, add some stock. You are looking for a loose lava consistency. Check for seasoning.
Now allow the mince to simmer gently for 1½ hours, if not 2 (if it is drying out, add more stock). Time allows the mince to become itself, as is the case for most of us. While the mince cooks, peel the potatoes and simply boil them in salty water. After a long journey, there is no dish more welcoming. Also, a dram doesn't go amiss.
From The Complete Nose to Tail: a Kind of British Cooking (Bloomsbury, RRP £30). To order a copy for £21.99 with free UK p&p go to theguardian.com/bookshop or call 0330 333 6846
